Alchemy Universe
by Inferno-Hero
Summary: The adepts wrap up the trip, with a few..... well..... incidents, as well as discovering a vital piece of information with the trip to the next universe....... ISAAC is........ a pansy! More details inside.
1. Default Chapter

Max-....aren't random Ideas the best ones!!!!!!!

Ivan- What even inspired you to do this?

Garet-yeah I mean come on!!  
Isaac-this has to be one of the most idiotic-

Piers-Randomly stupid-

Felix-Uncalled for fic!

Max-wow.......now I know I'm going to do this!

Edward Alric-......why are we included in this

Alphonse Alric-I agree with my brother on this one.........

Max-Not just you two, but MANY MANY MORE!!!!!

Alchemy Universe

Disclaimer-Max does not own Golden sun or anything else thats not mine mentioned here. Credit goes to their companies.

* * *

Now you may wonder how any of this started........because you don't KNOW anything about any of this, so any of this statement right now would be confusing, therefore I've just made a confusing statement, Therefor you may or may not be confused! ANYWAY, thats not the point. This just means after you've read this chapter you should come to this statement and just read it over and over.

One day a horrible event happened. Kraden called a mandatory meeting. "OH NO!" yelled Isaac, bursting onto the plaza. "A horrible event has happened, Kraden called a mandatory meeting. Those gathered at the Plaza, involved in this statement suddenly got the feeling they had no stomach. Now you may wonder who is involved to this statement. That would of course be Garet, Ivan, Mia, Felix, Jenna, Sheba, and Piers. Not Bob the butterfly though, and he's just fine with that, but nevermind. Anyway, to get on wi- "How did you find out about this Isaac?" said Sheba, randomly interupting the authors re-intro. Isaac thought about this for a moment before replying "Internet."

"How did you get the internet?" asked Jenna

"Plot hole"

"...........Oh"

"NO way!"

This was everyone's first reaction. It had taken a bit of convincing to get everyone there, or in other words, had taken alot of Kradens blackmail through the infamous, portable plot hole, including objects such as: Garets blackened teddy bear, Ivan's secret of getting fangirls, and Jenna's secret almond hating society. Don't ask about that unless you hate almonds. Now they were all gathered at Kradens little cottage, packed like perverbial sardines, not to be mistaken with perverted sardines, because that just doesn't make any sense.

"You may all wonder why I gathered you here...."

"We're actually wondering how that blackmail actually worked."

"Shut up Ivan, now, I've decided that there are actually many different universes that include alchemy. Well all of them include alchemy, some more than others. I want to see how these universes use alchemy differently than psyenergy, and since I'm lazy in universe hopping you will take my place. Now I have created a machine that utilizes all of the effects of the golden sun so..."

_**SIX HOURS LATER**_

"IN other words, you'll get to any universe I send you too!"

Kraden turned around to find all eight of his blackmail-ees draped over each other asleep. Kraden cleared his throat loudly in a very snobbish way." When that didn't work he kicked them all in the side until they woke up.

"Prepare yourselves, because your first trip is to where alchemy is used for a government, and they must use some kind of symbol, I'm not sure, but it is highly amplified compared to psyenergy.........SO HOP TO IT. Get ready to go, prepare what you need, weapons, armor, equipment, ectera. Be ready to go BRIGHT AND EARLY!"

"What if we refuse?" questioned Jenna.

"I shall notify the almonds Jenna."

".................Well this sounds fun!"

* * *

Heh, this is kinda random, And since this is a prologue I'll tell you where they're going first. They'll be heading for the Fullmetal Alchemist anime. I'll leave a hint at the end of each chapter of where the crew is going next. Next chapter expect a lot of jokes about Ivan and Edward Elric looking the same. Ciao! (Shiggity shiggity shwaa all!) 


	2. FMA part 1

Well I never update anything anymore...I'm getting lax. EVENTUALLY look for the next chapter of Romance of Steam. Not sure if this will make any difference in this chapter, but I'm listening to the whole Incubus Crow left of the murder CD...in ORDER (bum bum buuuuuuum) now...for reveiw responses to last chapter.

_Responses_

MarinaofLemuria-...Thanks!

epobbp-Yes...don't even get me started on procrastination.

cyberwolfmk2-A random thought while watching FMA.

? -Awesome, thank you for the spelling lesson. Being serious. The proverbial instead of peverbial is making sense now.

_End responses_

v.v;; pitiful I know yet...on with the story!

_When we last left..._

(Shiggity shiggity sh-)

_before that..._

**_SIX HO_**-

_**BEFORE THAT!**_

"Be ready bright and early!"

_Much better._

The adepts had said their "broken hearted farewells" to their families. Mia's grandparents had long since moved to Vale, to better their health. "Mia, why are you leaving again?" asked her grandmother. "Are you finally gonna make some pour sap lucky?" A vein in Mia's temple suddenly twitched. "No granma, I told you, I have to go on a journey. I was blackmailed by an old man."

"...So you already got drunk, and laid an old man?"

"NO!"

"...Oh. Were you sober?"

"Granma, I did no such thing! Quit asking these perverted questions!"

Mia's grandpa looked up from where he was sitting, replying to her "Sweety, your grandma just doesn't want you dying a virgin."

"...I'm glad I'm leaving. GOODBYE."

As everyone gathered around Kraden's hut, the old man stepped out himself. "Welcome friends, prepare to travel to your first universe!"

"Don't call us your friends Kraden, we're your blackmailees, and that is what you shall refer to us as."

"Sure thing Ivan. Now, BEHOLD!"

Kraden took a little thing out of his pocket, which he placed on the ground. Pressing a small button on his cottage wall produced alot of smoke, which when cleared, resulted in revealing a black hole, with a strange breeze blowing through it. Ivan and Sheba looked sceptic about it, being experts on the wind, and kicked a rock towards it. To everyones surprise, the "hole" toppled over, onto what was a steam powered fan. "...Stupid wind adepts. Oh well, come inside and I'll show you the real transportation machine."

As the eight adepts walked in, Piers suddenly wrinkled his nose. "Whats that smell?" Jenna also wrinkled her nose. "It smells...musty...and eyeballish." Everyone looked at Jenna strangely. "Errrr, Jenna, I hate to ask, but... how do you know what eyeballs smell like?" asked Garet. Jenna suddenly became very interested with a curtain on Kradens wall, where the smell seemed to be coming from. Pulling it aside, Jenna snorted. "Kraden...why do you have the wise one tied to your wall, with a cake on his head?" Kraden came out from behind a hidden panel he was just in, replying "How else did you think I was gonna send you? Technology? I found the wise ones weakness. He has no arms and loves cake. If you put a plate of cake on his head, he automatically becomes immobilized, afraid he'll ruin the cake. So I just poke this into his eye and we should be good to go." said Kraden, holding up a cable. Ushering the adepts onto a nearby platform, Kraden jabbed the wise one in the eye with the cable. It made a certain clicking sound, as the wise ones eye suddenly resembled a screen full of static, before turning black. After a short interval, a window poped up on the Wise Ones eye. An audible voice rang out softly from the stone "Welcome to the Installation wizard, for Weyard Universe Travellers 1.0, optimized for broad band."

"Finally, we have... W.U.T." said Kraden, pointing to the welcome screen. Poking the SEND button, the platform around the adepts suddenly began to glow. From the platform, the room began to go out of focus, colors changing from ultraviolet shades, to dark hues, before a whirring noise was heard, and Kradens voice was heard in their heads. _Hey, can you hear me ok? Where you're going is technilogically advanced, and you might feel the need to be inconspicuous...but you dont have too! You'll probably all be treated like freaks though. Good luck...newly dubbed freaks!_

As the world seemed to come into focus, it was vastly different from their original surrounding. Their feet were on a hard, black surface, along with metal objects trundling along the apparent pathway. Loud noises were emitted from them, as people hung from the sides shouting slightly rude things. "GET OUTA THA WAY, yah FREAKS!" yelling things similiar to that. A djinni,who had crawled onto Jenna's shoulder, suddenly sneezed, charring the owner and his car, who jumped out screaming. Isaac took the little fire spirit, petting it softly, "You'd think he's never seen a mystical elemental being who, when combind with the rest of his kind, could bestow the power of a god on people."

"Yah, you'd think thay'd heard of that, huh freaks?"

The eight adepts turned to see a man in a big suit of armor, next to...Ivan?

"Ivan-chan?" said Sheba, venturing forward. The guy looked just like Ivan, other than he had on black clothes covered by a red coat and had white gloves on. Ivan piped up from the back, "What, Sheba-chan?" he said walking to the front before freaking. The giant in armor and the other seven adepts prepared themselves for the 'look at that handsome guy' one thousand year old cliche. "Man that guy is-"

"One super"

"Miraculous"

"wonderfully"

"rea-"

"-lly"

"UGLY SHORT GUY!" They finished unanimously, before at each others throat, continuing to speak in unison.  
"Whadd'you call me?"

The man in armor had a surprisingly high voice, as he skirted the two midgets/heroes/idiots who were fighting, walking to the other seven. "Umm, hello friends. That is my big brother Edward Alric, and I am Alphonse Alric. He's fifteen and I'm fourteen, and you don't look like you're around from here." Mia looked at him strangely, before replying, "I think you need to explain some things Alphonse, like about the types of alchemy arouund here. How is it different from ours?"

"Where are you from? Like another universe?"

"Yep"

"Wait who are you?"

"Garet."

"Oh...are you always slack-jawed?"

"I AM NOT SLACKJAWED!"

"Oh, I couldn't tell cause of your hair."

As Garet was weeping into Mia's shoulder, the fight between Ivan and Ed heated up. Ivan Leapt backwards suddenly, hurling a gust towards the state alchemist. In turn, Ed clapped his hands, dropping to the ground, transumtating the ground underneath Ivan. Ivan was suddenly rocketed up by a pillar, as Ed was blown away into the side of a building. Ivan, taking advatange of the height, suddenly created a purple glow within his hands, bolting plasma into a helixing blast of energy. In turn, Ed had transmuted the buildings remains into a plasma cannon. He immediately fired, before spotting the bolts of plasma lightning energy. Ed pulled his red cape over him for some sembalance of cover, as he whimpered fitfully.

The seven adepts and Al simply ignored the giant explosion, Garet still sniffling into Mia's shoulder. Felix looked up at him, counting off the points with his fingers. "Ok...so this is a world where alchemy is formed by scientific equal exchange. Human alchemy is forbidden. You guys tried it, and this is what happened. You're brothers looking for something called a "philosophers stone", probably our stone of sages. You guys are half screwed. One of your friends died by helping you, wow that sucks. A colonel and his assisstant are in love with each other, but won't admit it..."

15 minutes later

"...and finally, for the 48th point, you're brother is a short guy eith one real arm and one real leg. Wow, if I actually cared to not ruin this lame gag, I would be scared about how many fingers I have!"

"Err... Felix...you still have ten."

"Riiiiiiiiiiiight."

"Also, Felix, I haven't told you guys any of that stuff, how did you know if you're from another world?"

Felix quickly stuffed the Full Metal Alchemist manga deep into the plothole that was his back pocket. "I...don't know?"

"Works for me."

"By the way did they both die or what?"

"...Ask Sheba, she has an Ivan sixth sense...I think, it could just be cause she's a wind adept."

Al nodded, before turning around and pulling a Golden sun and Golden Sun 2 players guide from his plothole armor. Flipping through it, he got it, and loudly said, "Ooooooooohhhhhh." Jenna suddenly became suspicous, as she called out, "Why are you shouting out 'Oh', like that?"

"...Found a bowl of Cheerios."

After searching through the rubble, The group finally found the two, unconcious and drained. "C'mon, you guys can stay out our house, well...we don't have a house, but you can come stay at our friend's Winry's house!"

**WE BREAK IN OUR STORY TO BRING YOU A LOOK INSIDE THE AUTHOR'S PLOT WRITING METHOD!**

Max stared at the computer screen for about fifteen minutes, before deciding to get up and fix him a sandwich. He counteracted his decision by watching a few minutes of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, and then a whole episode of Samurai Champloo, before waiting five months to write the rest of his story.

**THANK YOU!**

_The Next morning._

Edward Alric woke up sore, yet refreshed, while Ivan woke refreshed, yet sore. Ivan sat up yawning, in Ed's normal room. Ed himself was sleeping in the guest room, and simply rolled over as he woke up. Ivan, without thinking, pulled on a pair of Ed's clothes from his closet, gloves, jacket, and all. As he walked down the stairs half asleep, a girl called from the top of the stairwell sleepily, "Good morning Ed! You're never awake this early." Ivan didn't answer, continuing down the stairs. As he entered the small dining room, which was packed with his friends, an old woman, and a suit of armor.

"Good morning brother."

"Wow, you are up early, you lazy layabout of an Elric."

Continuing to ignore the old woman Pinako and Al, Ivan sat down beside Shiva. Seeing him sit, Shiva cleared her throat slightly, before saying, "Err, this seat is saved!"

"It isn't saved for me Sheba-Chan?"

"Only Ivan-Chan can call me Sheba-Chan, jerk!"

"but...I am Ivan-chan!"

Alright, leaving you with a hint of whats to come...four people who have read my fic. Ok...review...you know how it is.


	3. FMA wrap up ISAAC IS A PANSY

Well...yay, this story has gotten past chapter 2, oh boy!

_Reviews_

AGodofIrony-Yes...yes there will BWAHAHAHA...err whoops, lost the happy, but the happys back! Anyway just to name a few...Fire Emblem, Fairly Odd Parents (humorous stuff!), Earthbound, Kirby, an EXTREMELY brief visit to the Lord of the Rings, Dragon ball Z...only cause I hate it (sorry but I do) and probably...alot more.

_End Responses_

Alright, on with the fic.

Disclaimer-Hey I don't own any of this that's not mine.

Sheba looked at Ivan strangely, before reading his mind. "IVAN CHAN, why do you have on that guy's clothes, you look just like him!"

"I look just like him, eh?"

"Yes, go get back in your travel clothes! It's creepy!"

The old woman named Pinako was suddenly behind the two. "Don't worry about it, Edward has a ponytail."

Al shifted uncomfortably in his seat, before making a noise, "Err, no he doesn't. Winry got mad at him last week, and I joked to her about his ponytail...and she took it to heart and gave him a haircut..." he said, the memory of Edwards heart broken sobs still racking his memory. As Pinako went to congratulate her granddaughter, Isaac began discussing alchemy with Al, since Ed hadn't woken up yet.

"Al, I heard you mentioning something about a circle to trigger the alchemy here."

"Yes, we'll be providing you with a notebook with details as how to make it."

"Well what about the philosophers stone?"

"Well... alchemy is all about equivalent exchange. If you have the philosophers stone, you can give less to get more... the owner won't have to use equivalent exchange."

"What about your body and Ed's arm and leg."

"...Equivalent exchange for trying to revive our mother."

"Sound like an uncomfortable topic."

"It is."

"Well... How did Ed get so short?"

"He just doesn't grow."

"Makes sense. Just one more question, will you show me a bit of you guys alchemy?"

"Only if you show me and my brother some alchemy."

"Throw in a few of these muffins and you've got a deal."

As Ivan changed, Ed stretched in his bed languriously. Leaving his coat behind, he clomped down the stairs. Upon seeing his brother, Al squealed like a litte girl. "BROTHER, YOU'VE GOT TO SEE THIS!"

"Let me guess you've discovered a secret to these peoples alcehmy that will get our bodies back to normal."

"Well...yeah...and this guy with the spiky red hair has eaten THIRTY FOUR of pinako's muffins, not to mention Winry's cooking!"

"Whoa...is he still alive?"

Ed was promptly smacked with a wrench, as Winry scowled. As Ed sat down, rubbing his head, he looked at the eight adepts. "Well, let's see your alchemy." he said, before beginning to stuff his face. "Bring your breakfast outside brother, Isaac and Felix are going to show us some earth alchmey, or as they call it, psyenergy." As Ed, picked up his plate following Al, he muttered into a forkfull of eggs, "I think this is a bunch of crap."

The entire town had been standing out on the lawn across from the Risen bool bus station. The man sitting inside the booth was staring blankly at all of the people. It seemed that everyone wanted to see what the funnily dressed strangers were doing. Felix stepped back, allowing Isaac to go first. The venus adept held up a hand, concentrating with a seemingly practiced ease, a clump of earth rising from the ground, before vines sprouted from the ground, ensnaring the ball, compliments of Felix. Jenna stepped forward, holding a hand up, as a blast of flames incinerated the vines, grabbing the earth as it slowly melted into a ball of magma. Piers put both hands on the ground, before glowing slightly, a small trickle of water seeping up, before a large fountain of water spouted up. Garet held up a hand pointing at the still floating, ball of magma, a ball of heated fire energies gathering, as Mia stood beside him, sending a torrent of water at the magma, as Piers directed his fountain to strike it, a hissing of steam sounding, as clouds began to gather over head. Ivan and Sheba were standing shoulder to shoulder, hands raised above their heads, before bringing them down simultaneously, as Garet hurled the ball of plasmic fire at the giant ball of earth. As the fire and lightning struck simutaneouly with a loud peel of thunder, the ball exploded in a shower of sparks and clods.

The townspeople looked on in wonder, standing in silence as the adepts finished their performance. Suddenly a guy stood up trembling, "THEY'RE DEMONS, RUN FER THA HIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLS!" The people of Risenbool ran fer 'tha hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiillllllls' in angry mob form. As their dustcloud began receding up tha hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiillllllls, Ed walked over his mouth hanging opwn, as he handed them a slip of paper with a transmutation circle on it. Suddenly a voice sounded in each of the adepts heads. _Fifteen minute warning till transfer, better get your thgings! Oh by the way, I can't hear you, it's me Kraden, and this is reverse mind reading, courtesy of the wise one. Oh, fourteen minutes now. Hurry now! _

After thirteen minutes of thing gathering and pretty much running around crazily, the adepts were finally gathered together. Ed gave them a copy of the search for the philosophers stone, along with various transmutation circles. Suddenly the time was up. Kraden had activated the device, and bolts of static kinetic energies suddenly began to strike around them, until they were pulsing, as if some bizarre cage. They seemed to stretch and flatten out, until only a thin line was all that remained of them. The line sucked into itself, leaving a small hole in reality, that quickly filled itself in with a shockwave, blowing away the roof of the bus station.

A few minutes later a man came to relieve the current worker. As one clocked in and the other clocked out, the one clocking in siad, "Rough shift eh Ed?"

"Little dull."

"Slow day?"

"Sure is Cledus."

With that, Cledus resumed Ed's spot in the roofless bus station, looking bored.

As the adepts traveled, the small journalish book suddenly dissapeared. "Hey what happened?" said Isaac, "If we're doin this we're doin it for some kinda reason, I'm just kinda...T.O.'d!" Jenna proceded to smack him in the back of the head. "Get over it, you pansy!" suddenly Kraden's voice was in their heads, among any others that could be residing. _I have them, so quit panicking you pansy. _Jenna proceded to smile smugly, "Pansy"

Suddenly the adepts vision began to shimmer, as a landscape began to appear. They landed in a snow covered drift, slowly hovering just above the powdery landscape's surface, before landing in the freezing place. Garet took the front with Mia, while Jenna took the rear with Piers, the Mercury adepts keeping the current blizzard at bay, while the Garet cut a path into the banked snow, and Jenna was continuosly casting the lightest amont of psyenergy to keep them all warm.

"Hey, a building!" shouted Ivan and Sheba simultaneously. Their job was to keep a lookout, while Isaac was sulking about being a blonde haired pansy, and Felix being useless, as of having no other job. Suddenly they heard shouting voices. Some sounded victorious, other sounded drunk, one sounded extremely terrified (THE PINK HAIRED DEVIL HERSELF IS OUT TO GET ME!). Suddenly a twin jet of blazing flames narrowly missed Garet's feet. "HALT, you shall go no futher without being identified with our lords!"

eheheheheh, Non Poisonous cookies to guess where we are noooooow.


End file.
